About Magic

In the doldrums! Nothing was moving anymore! Felix and I had come to a standstill on our floating island in the middle of space. There was nothing to do but conquer the boredom. And what an opponent it was. The final boss of final bosses. It demanded everything from you: diligence, skill, creativity, and enthusiasm. I had none of those, so I lazily floated with my tummy up in my goldfish bowl.

Meanwhile, Simon was moving all the furniture in our lighthouse from one side to the other. He was convinced that their radiation was disrupting the delicate balance of his teleportation circle, which he had drawn on the living room floor with all the primary colors. However, he left out one of the colors, leaving only five: cyan, magenta, yellow, red, and green runes shimmering in the candlelight.

“Blubb!” I admonished him. Simon justified himself, “Yes, I know, Ultramarine is missing, but I still find it far too risky to make a pact with the dark blue god, especially now that we’ve ventured so deep into the cosmos. As you said, he is the god from the depths. He has too great an advantage in our situation to agree to a cheap deal“ “Blubb!!” I countered. “Yes, that’s what I mean, and as long as I don’t possess your abilities, great master, I won’t engage in such a reckless action.”

At this point, let me explain the magic of the cosmic cave. Or at least the one Felix and I can wield, because as is well known, that’s not possible for everyone in the cosm. On your planet, dear readers, it seems there is no such thing, but perhaps my eyewitnesses are mistaken and dismiss true magic as the trickery of charlatans.

Be that as it may, magic as practiced by intergalactic space wizards is nothing more than a pact with the gods. An extremely elaborate contract that attracts the attention of a desired deity with empty promises and adventurous chatter. The remaining pages of a spellbook used to cast a particular spell contain only the fine print. A gigantic collection of additional clauses, exceptions, and sub-, over-, and under-sections that even a god couldn’t be bothered to read… to the wizard’s advantage. For with his divinely legalistic jargon, he secured himself against any responsibility and thus became the sole beneficiary of the deal, gaining divine power without having to fulfill his part of the bargain. The more powerful the spell, the more complicated the contract, and the thicker the book ultimately was. During the actual ritual, it was enough to solemnly recite the main clause; the rest of the book was merely there to prevent displeased gods from demanding their part of the deal.

So, anyone who wants to have a wide selection of spells at hand better have strong shoulders for the backpack full of books, and they should have read and, above all, understood them all. Two essential aspects that my apprentice Felix often tended to forget.